Monday, March 14, 2005
Promedio Rojo
This had the advantage of also being very funny. So with everything else from cars to clothes we now have to import our comedies to find something funny to watch.
Other than being set in Chile this is a standard comic book and sex driven movie. Act One introduce the characters: Fat kid, Moron, Big Fat Rich Moron, Big Man on Campus, Sage-like Grandfather, Asshole Teacher, and Thug.
Act Two: enter the Hottie. And this gives a little insight into Chilean culture, it seems that all the porno films are dubbed in Spain before they are shipped to Chile so the idiot boys believe that girls that speak with Spanish accents are sluts. This of course leads Moron into a series and stupid comments that embarrass Fat kid, hero of this film, in front of the Hottie. Much like Porky’s, American Pie, and Can’t Hardly Wait.
Actually I think that this could better be described as Can’t hardly Wait in Spanish, and as the only person I know that actually saw that movie, I think Promedio Rojo could do very well over here.
Especially in Texas where English is now the second most spoken language.
Act Three and Four: Hottie dates Big man on Campus, Sage-like Grandfather Dies. Hottie get pregnant and breaks up with Big man on Campus and confides in Fat Kid that she is pregnant.
Fat kid confronts Big man on Campus and gets the shit beat out of him by the Thug.
In the end the Hottie returns to Spain and the Fat kids chases after her. The Action of the movie is broken up by episodes of the main character’s comic book hero The Incredible Obesity of Being beating up on Gymman.
All in all this was an amazing film to watch, good visuals and for a kid who read comics in high school the tag line says it all: Some people say High School is the best time of your life. If that’s so, I can’t imagine what the worst would be like.
The Thing About My Folks
“Joy Boy!” my father exclaimed. I turned and shrugged, I had long been introduced to the Shatner, and my father had never called him that before, so I guessed he was talking about the detective.
“Who?” I asked, not knowing what was about to happen.
“Joy Boy… Peter Falk…”
“…” I responded.
“You’ve had a really deficient upbringing…” my father replied, he left the room and when he returned he popped a tape in the VCR, “Watch this…”
Pocketful of MiraclesSo I sat, and this wasn’t the first movie my father had made me watch. I had already seen Nightmare on El Street and that had tainted my opinion of movies.
But, this was the first movie with Peter Falk. I won’t say I was mesmerized, the movie is very sappy for a gangster flick, however Joy Boy was amazing.
After that my father and I started watching Columbo daily.
The Princess BrideSo a couple of years later another Joy Boy movie premiered, The Princess Bride.
It was a classic, just as the poster read: Fencing, Fighting, Killing. The perfect movie for a six-year old, I think we saw it at least ten time. So I’ve been looking for Joy Boy movies ever since. I even saw Made, and yes I am embarrassed to admit that.
Bye Bye, LoveI never really liked Mad About You, but that didn’t stop me from watching Bye Bye, Love. Eliza Dushku was in it.
Paul Reiser is a very funny neurotic; if you ever need an actor to over-react, he’s your man.
The Thing About My Folks
So I really didn’t know what to expect from The Thing About My Folks going into the movie. I knew Joy Boy and Reiser would be funny, but I wasn’t sure how well they’d play off each other.
It was amazing, it almost felt like they were related even down to the way they grated on each others nerves.
If you can’t tell I really liked this movie, and although I can’t relate to everything that happened I do have older sisters and our family connects mostly through the phone at a distance. And my father has bought an old car, though not in as good condition as the car in this movie.
This movie is about a son, trying to occupy his father after his mother has supposedly walked out. The son doesn’t really know his father, and who can really say they know their fathers? The adventure takes place over the course of two days as the sister track down the mother and the son breaks down fifty years of resentment and guilt over the bsby-boomer way he was raised. In the end the father and son and the mother make peace. A real tear jerker.
When I saw the movie, it still didn’t have distribution, so it could be awhile before it breaks out of the festival circuit. If or when it does, I would recommend seeing it. It’s worth seeing Joy Boy in another good movie.
Saturday, March 12, 2005
Cavite

severed fingers in cigarette packs.
that was the promotional item that they were handing out for this film. I, unfortunately, did not get one of these promos.
so this is a filipino thriller about a guy who is called back to the philippines to save his mother and sister from terrorists. so the basic hollywood suspencer crap.
but just wait, there is a twist. this was filmed on location in cavite, one of the dirties, nastiest, slums in the philippines, the philippines. upto this point the only good thing I could say about the philippines is that macarthur isn’t still there. I don’t really like thrillers, but as I think about this one, almost a week after seeing it, I can say I really like it. I like the way it was shot, I thought the script was real and the locations were amazing. they moved through the airport, the highways, the inner city, the parks, the trash slums, a cock fight(a real cock fight, ASPCA can go fuck itself), a giant basilica, and a convenient store. nothing was left out, blind alleys and congested roads.
so back to the promos, the main character’s sister’s finger get chopped off and left in a cigarette pack to fuck with the lead. and the mother’s tongue gets cut out.
so… I’m sitting in the second most uncomfortable seat in all of Austin, watching this amazing thriller fly past my eyes.
upside: good movie, the director is a great guy, the writer and lead in the movie is also a great guy.
down side: only ten minutes to ask our lame-ass questions and they never, never turned the lights on in that damn place. so all my pictures are over dark and I have retina burn from my own camera. these really cool guys are rubbing their own eyes from the twenty people behind me; every one is behind me I’m front row far left right in front of the director, pitcher of dr. pepper three-quarters empty one-quarter full, flash every other second. so there’s a bunch of people out there with the back of my head and my drink in their photos.
also I have posted a picture, whoot
Ian Gamazon is on the left, Neill Dela Llana is on the right
Reel Shorts II
The Death Of Salvador Dali
this is another film that makes the $275 plus $14 parking(two days) I paid seem low. this was a spectacular short film. well writen, well acted, and it was one of the best filmed movies I've seen so far.
and of course it opens with the song Brazil. the character of Dali is dancing through a garden to the tune of Brazil, and it just got better from there. from the crazy non sequiters to the abrupt entrances by cooky characters.
I'm really pissed that this will probably never be on dvd, and if you don't follow the festivals around the country you might never get to see this one.
plus the film makers were rerally great guys. they didn't brush me off like they could have.

check out the website for the movie: www.dalimovie.com
Long Story Short
not having frizzy hair or being black I really couldn't relate to this one, but it was funny and had a good story otherwise.
The Kings of Christmas
oh my jebus, but these guys freak me out a little. I grew up in a house that never had christmas lights. these guys spend more than I made last year on the power for their lights.
I bet they skimp on the gifts, fuckers.
Desastre
another film in french, and this one was so-so.
oh, and the french did not keep civilisation going after the fall of the roman empire, the byzantins did.
Heavy Mental
also a so-so film, but the director was also a real nice guy.

well that was the end of the short films presentation. there was at least one really good one each time and that made it okay to sit through the lame ones.
Reel Shorts I
Mary
this had the benefit of being short, very short. only three minutes long in fact. which was good because any longer and the audience would have been the ones suffering not the title character.
synopsis: little girl has a vision, the virgin mary appears to her in the night and proclaims her the chosen one. like an idiot, the next morning she tells her mother. cut to a psychiatrist and prescription pad. the next night mary reappears and the young girl quickly takes her meds. mary shruggs and mooves on to the little sisters room and gives her the chosen spiel. the next morning as they break their fast, the title character is medicated and drool. when asked how she slept the younger sister does not tell her mother about Mary's visit. fade to swade.
credits run, and to be polite(you never know where those movie creators are sitting) I clapped.
it bit.
The Lost Cause
nopt bad really, just very anti-reinactment. the story is basically a flash-back as the main character is prepairing the commit suicide.
he reinacts civil war battles. not the craziest thing I've ever heard of. I've heard that ewen mcgregor signed on to do three Star Wars movies, that's pretty crazy.
the main character in The Lost Cause has lost his wife and son because of the reinactments.
not much more to say, it had funny parts and was well filmed. you can say it didn't bite as much as Mary, but then I saw Mary first and that probably helped.
Genius Loci
wow, and not in the Garden State way. I can't spoil this one because it was just clips from a home movie and bad music. no actors, no dialogue, just 6 minutes of my life.
Renegade Bookseller
this is where things started getting better, after three duds this little documentary about an indipendent bookseller in LA actually was good. Natalie Woodlawn is actually interresting to watch and listen to as she tells the tale of how she bought her bookstore and what she wants to do in the future. It may not ever win an award but it was really good.
Dream Lover Fondue
oops! relapse. this was pure film school tripe. no plot that I could see, no point either. just a series of non-random images that move from stop-motion to archive footage. and the music(and I think this is a trend) was jarring. the soles of my shoes were rattling under the triple bass. I was beginning to believe that the screeners were out to get me.
All White People Are French
okay this is a Garden State wow.
this was a wonderful documentary about an african regugee telling a story about his family in africa. I will not spoil this one because it would just take something from this really great film. if you ever get a chance to see this one, watch it. you will not regret it.
and the title is not a joke, and also not meant to insult.
Keep Right
this was the reason I chose to see Reel Shorts I.
lance hendrikson is one of my top five favorite actor of all time, and he did not disapoint. this short is about a game, hide and seek with guns. the actions is well paced and believable, right up to the point the characters start arguing about the rules of the game. it's like a watching a d&d arguement, lots of whining and bitching.
good clean holy day fun.
Spam-Ku
this one caught me by surprise. I hate spam, the look, the smell, and being of spam. I live by the Monty Python line, 'I don't like SPAM!'
so this didn't suck, at all. the haiku did, but it was about spam so what can you do. i hope I never become as obsessed about any food as the main character of this film did.
time to open another dr pepper...
The Raftman's Razor
being a comicbook geek, I can't talk objectively about this one. I've liked some comicbooks enough to wait impatiently for the next issue. I will say, however, that the comics I waited for at least had more than one character and more than one line of dialogue. it was a fun little story about comicbook geeks and how they are often misunderstood.
well, not always, these guys were dorks.
Everything In This Country Must
I shit you not, that is the whole title. it was too short, it should have been at least another hour long to give the audience flipping closure.
news flash: the northern irish hate the english, and the english are all that big on the northern irish.
just thought I'd drop that in.
The Aristocrats
the movie is a documentary about and old joke that has been circulating around the comedy clubs for ages. simply put it is an improve joke, you start out simple, 'a man walks into a talents agents office, and says: I got an act with my wife.'
then you load in the worst things you can think of and try to make the joke last as long as you can.
and the punchline is this: the talent agent looks at the man and asks what they call this act. and the man replies, 'The Aristocrats'
now on the surface there is nothing funny about this joke, it's sick and perverted and in some states almost illegal. but if you hear george carlin tell it you fill die laughing, I shit you not.
now here's the bugger, I didn't watch the whole film. I left after 30 minutes. not because I had a negative oppinion of the movie, I loved it. however, I had been up since 6am with out a good night sleep before hand. and the Alamo Drafthouse is a ten minute walk from the car and a 50 minute drive at midnight. I was very close to crashing my car on the way home and I left early.
if I had stayed I might not have made it at all, so tomorrow is hopefully going to be easier, hopefully.
Seoul Train
don't get me wrong, this was a wonderful film and I think it is very timely in subject concidering the state of the world today.
but damn, this was depressing. the movie follows the North Korea Refugee routes and the policies of china in regard to these refugees. the movie follows 24 north koreans as they try to escape through china to mongolia or japan. 7 make it to freedom, the rest no one is very sure about. the punishment for defection is death in north korea, and china has a policy of imediate repatriation for all north koreans caught in china.
the footage presented includes interviews from key players and hidden footage from inside north korea and from the attempts made to get the refugees to friendly countries. it is a very moving documentary.
after the film there was a very short q&a. and one question that stuck out was this: why didn't the north koreans travel south into south korea directly?
obviously not a history or geography major, because the reason is the 3 miles of land mines between the north korean army and the u.s. korean task force.
silly as it seems, this person sat through an entire movie about the north korean defectors believing they were idiots for not just going south. that's austin for ya.
Friday, March 11, 2005
My Big Fat Indie Movie
I got to this one just a little later than I had planed. SxSW Lesson #1: register early.
SxSW Lesson #2: arrive early. I drove through nasty rush hour trash against the grain to get to ACC to register for the $275 Film Badge, paid $7 for parking(cash only) and then booked it down to the Alamo Drafthouse Downtown to catch this little gem.
and if it's the only movie I see, it would be worth it. it slams every flipping indie flick out there, and the cast is awesome as well. I got pictures of the most of the cast and as soon as I get a little sleep I'm going to get them posted. I took 25 pictures with my new camera and I think 5 came out. I'll get better.
the little things for this flic were amazing, the cameos from Bob Odenkirk, Clint Howard, Pauly Shore(yeah the weasel) and Jason Mewes were amazing.
Reservoir Dogs (1992)Mariachi, El (1992)Clerks. (1994)Pulp Fiction (1994)Pi (1998)Lola rennt (1998)Memento (2000)Fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, Le (2001)My Big Fat Greek Wedding (2002)
all lambasted in the name of good comedy, this isn't even a full list. if you get the chance to see this one, either at a film festival or a screening, jump at it.
you won't regret it.
Thursday, March 10, 2005
movies, movies, movies...

this week I’m heading over to the SxSW film festival. I’ve hear some rumblings of a couple of clubs having concerts, but I thinks that just cuts into the movies.
over the next 9 days I’m going to see all the movies that never come the the local googleplex theater. and as an added bonus most of the movies are at the Alamo Drafthouse Downtown, so I can get a pitcher of Dr Pepper and the best fries ever made in a movie theater.
this is, as of tonight, the schedule for the week:
friday march 11 2005
My Big Fat Independent Film 7:15 pm
Seoul Train 10:00pm
The Aristocrats 11:59pm
saturday march 12 2005
Reel Shorts I 11:00am
Reel Shorts II 2:00pm
Cavite 4:30pm
Hooligans 7:00pm
Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic 9:45pm
Unleashed 11:59pm
sunday march 13 2005
Animated Shorts 12:00pm
Comedians of Comedy 9:00pm
monday march 14 2004
actually nothings really popped out so far…
tuesday march 15 2005
City of Lost Souls 6:45pm
Kung Fu Hustle 9:45pm
wednesday march 16 2005
Drop Dead Sexy 9:45pm
thursday march 17 2005
Max and Grace 7:00pm
Straight Line 9:45pm
friday march 18 2005
Waterborne 6:45pm
Kontrol 9:30pm
The Roost 11:59pm
saturday march 19 2005
A Life With out Pain 12:00pm
Steven Tobolowski’s Birthday Party 7:00pm
Old Boy 9:30pm
I’m going to have a little notebook with me and a pencil to make notes about the movies so I can write something up. good or bad I’ll let you know. I’m also thinking about getting a camera to get some stills. I don’t have a laptop so the posts can’t be in real time, sorry.